What I Can't Stop Thinking About

* BEFORE YOU READ THIS I AM COMPLETELY FINE AND OKAY *

This weekend I had a massive conversation with a few friends.

We were talking about the fact that when you see a star, it may not even be there anymore.

It may have already exploded and disappeared but it is so far away, potentially light years away, that we are still looking at it.

We are looking at something that has already happened in the lifetime of the star but is still present now in our life time.

Is time something that humans have made up to measure something that can't be measured?

Beyond what we can visually see, we just don't know what is out there.

We could be as small as an ant on another planet or we could be the only human like being that exists.

We just don't know these things.

WE JUST DON'T KNOW.

It reminded of this feeling I had when I was on top of Mauna Kea, a mountain in Hawaii last year.

I was above the clouds watching the sunset.

It is one of the most beautiful memories I have of 2018 but as I was watching the sunset I had this feeling of massive insignificance.

I felt so small.

Like a small speck of dust with no significance.

I was looking around at the nature thinking that if I died, nothing would change.

The trees wouldn't be any different.

The mountain would not be affected.

The sun would still set.

The clouds would still form and rain would still pour.

I struggled internally the rest of the Hawaii holiday to define what my significance was.

My career, my family, my friends, my purpose. What did it mean?

The fact that I am completely insignificant is a hard pill to swallow but the reality of it is liberating.

Say what? YES. It is liberating.

The reality that I am going to die one day and the sun will still set every night actually inspired me.

On my flight back home from Hawaii I had this massive wave of motivation that hit me all of a sudden.

I thought.... "WHY NOT?"

Why not go for my dreams?

Why not do what makes me happy?

Why not pursue everything I do with 100% of my energy?

Why be concerned for other peoples thoughts and opinions when they are just as insignificant, yet significant, as me?

If the trees will still sway in the wind without my existence then why shouldn't I do what makes me happy every single day for the rest of my life?

I have nothing to lose.

In my insignificance, I am significant.

I have no reason to hold back.

I know I sound so crazy right now but this whole idea just makes me think it could help so many people with confidence issues, self esteem issues, insecurities and self-doubt issues.

We will go one day and the world will still spin so do everything you want to do with everything that you have.

For me that is making peoples lives better